Posted: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 12:00 am
By Fernando Gallo
News-Sentinel Staff Writer |
Because of the way they knew Juan Romero, friends are shocked at how the man they called John reached the end of his life. The San Joaquin County Sheriff's Department believes Romero stabbed his wife, Billi Jo Dyer-Romero, and then committed suicide in a similar fashion March 2.
But friends said their John would never have committed such actions.
"The man who ended up in that position that day was not my friend," said Chip Meade, a longtime family friend of the Romeros and president of the Clements Buckaroos. "None of us can make any sense of it."
Sheriff's Department spokesman Deputy Les Garcia said that autopsy and toxicology reports from the county coroner, which could shed light on a possible cause for the incident, will not be ready for at least two to four weeks.
Dyer-Romero has been remembered as a generous, strong woman who touched the lives of many, but the story of her husband has gotten lost in the fray. Perhaps it's because of his alleged crime.
Romero is remembered by friends as a big, caring man; concerned with the well-being of the community and always willing to lend a helping hand.
Jim Johnson, who knew Romero for seven years, said Romero was like a big teddy bear. Johnson was practically a surrogate father to Romero, he said, appointed to that position by the man himself.
"About 3 years ago (Romero) lost his father," Johnson said. "When he came back from the funeral, he said, 'You're the oldest friend I have; I'm going to adopt you as my father.'"
And losing Romero, whom Johnson saw at least once a week, has been akin to losing a child.
"My son was 42 and had a heart attack in September and passed away," Johnson said. "(Romero's death) affected me almost the same amount."
Romero and his wife were certainly having problems, Johnson said, and for 2 1/2 weeks before the incident, Romero was calling Johnson daily to discuss the marital issues. Dyer-Romero had told her husband she wanted a divorce, but he adamantly wanted to fix the broken relationship with the woman he called his "best friend," Johnson said.
"He called me the day of the (incident) about one in the afternoon," Johnson said, who doesn't recall anything peculiar about the 10-minute conversation — just more talk about Romero's struggling marriage. "I've just been 'what-if-ing' ever since it happened."
But never for a second did Johnson suspect their problems could end with violence. In all the time Johnson knew him, he said he never witnessed Romero lay a finger on anyone.
"I never saw him angry," Johnson said. "I never saw him threaten anybody, or push anybody, or even really cuss at anybody."
Meade knew Romero through his involvement with the Buckaroos. On Wednesday, Meade was still very shaken by the whole ordeal. The Romeros and Meades had been very close, Meade said, spending nearly every weekend together.
"Even still today, it's nothing but disbelief," Meade said. "Every day you scroll by (their) names in your phone ... and just expect to get a phone call."
Romero is survived by two teenage sons from a previous marriage, Johnson said. Both are good football players, Johnson said, and he and Romero had gone to many of the boys' games. Romero had been working in air conditioning and heating repair before losing his job in recent months.
Meade said he will remember Romero as a kind, giving friend who would be there when you were in need, and cared deeply about the community. Johnson said Romero had been in the process of organizing a rodeo in memory of 9/11, and planned to honor local emergency responders at the event.
"John and Billi Jo both dedicated most of their time to other people," Meade said.
"He was a good man; I still, to this day, love and like John," Johnson said. "But I don't like the action he took, because it doesn't solve anything ... I'm afraid most people will remember him by that act."
Contact reporter Fernando Gallo at fernando@lodi news.com.
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