Article: Spreading the word about domestic violence

ORLANDO --
Thousands of people in Florida find themselves in an abusive domestic relationship -- be it physical or emotional. One in four women have experience domestic violence at one point in their life. Men also can find themselves in an abusive relationship.

The death of a Longwood woman who was a victim of domestic violence prompted News 13 to hold a live chat Wednesday afternoon.

Carol Wick of Harbor House of Central Florida answered questions from dozens of people who wanted help.

"We are seeing a lot of deaths this year and there are many reasons," Wick said. "The biggest one is economic stress. But other factors include the isolation of many people in our community and individuals not knowing what resources and rights are available."

Carol stressed that people in an abusive relationship need to have a safety plan, and an escape plan.

"[Court] injunctions can be an important step but only about 25 percent are granted," Wick said. "So safety plans are critical. An advocate can help you make a plan to stay safe even if you decide to stay with your batterer."

There are 42 shelters in Florida. None of them charge for their services. In Orange County, Harbor House helps abused men, women and families in Orange County. Wick said children may need special care, including counseling. "In Orange County, over 1,000 children were were identified by DCF as being in homes with domestic abuse just last year.

"Children growing up in abusive homes live on the edge," Wick said. "They need to know how to stay safe and that what is happening is not ok. It is important not to tell them too much about a plan to leave if they might accidentally tell the batterer."

Harbor House has a shelter, community-based housing, a day care and other services to help domestic violence victims. They also have foster services for people who need pets cared for while they are in the shelter.

Advocates are available 24 hours a day. At least 6,000 survivors are helped each year. But Wick says they do not reach everyone.

"Many survivors feel a lot of shame and believe that they are to blame for the abuse," Wick said. "The only person who is to blame is the person who abuses someone they say they love. Many times family members and friends only see the good side of the relationship and don't want to believe the abuse is happening either."

One group that doesn't get talked about a lot is men -- they can be the victim in an abusive relationship too.

"In fact, we help around 1,000 male survivors every year, mainly through our court services program," Wick said. "Abuse happens people from all walks of life, rich, poor, female and male. Ninety-five percent of those we help are women though."

Right now, Harbor House is working on raising awareness about domestic violence. Project Courage is a program that partners with neighborhood groups to help raise awareness about domestic violence, and how people respond to it.

Harbor House is also hosting an event with the Orlando Police Dept. on Sept. 23. Volunteers will go door to door, handing out information about the warning signs of abuse. If you are interested in helping, go to the Harbor House website.