Article: Domestic violence is all about ownership

The Times-Standard recently printed an AP article about a murder/suicide at San Jose State. The story was confusing, called the murders “inexplicable,” and quoting one official saying “no one may ever know what happened.” Police said they had no idea of the motives for the killing. Other press articles labeled it “tragic,” “bizarre,” “random,” and “senseless,” and speculated about a motive for the killings. This type of typical media coverage is extremely frustrating for experts and those knowledgeable about domestic violence.

The story reported that a husband had shot his wife and a male friend of hers as they were getting into a car on the campus. Although the initial reports stated there was “no history of domestic violence,” subsequent coverage revealed that neighbors had called security the week before because of loud noises and sounds of destruction in the couple's apartment.

In fact, this murder/suicide, another that occurred in Dexter, Maine,, and one that occurred in Essex, England, last week, all follow a very similar and common pattern. The motive is control. Batterers usually murder their partners, and sometimes their children, when they have lost access to them, oftentimes when their partner has left them or is about to leave them. Domestic violence is all about ownership -- the batterer believes he is entitled to the services and obedience of his victim -- and that she has no right to leave him. (Although the vast majority of batterers are men and victims are women, battering does occur in lesbian/gay/bisexual/trans relationships, and there are a few cases of men being battered by women.)
There is ample and substantial research that clearly shows that domestic violence homicides can be substantially reduced in a community which institutes a stringent criminal and civil justice response to battering -- automatic arrest, high levels of prosecutions, and a judicial response that jails the batterer when he violates a restraining order, or stops attending a court mandated batterers' program. Usually press coverage quotes criminal justice personnel/university officials who are scrambling to conceal their own errors or lack of action, hence the “senseless,” and “inexplicable” labels.

At Humboldt State University, the Sexual Assault Prevention Committee is seeking funds to expand its coordinated community response to include domestic and dating violence, seeking to implement an approach that promotes survivor safety and assailant accountability.

Because of problematic reporting about domestic violence homicides and suicides, the public is robbed of the opportunity for learning, understanding and opportunities for action. Here in Humboldt County, the Prevention Committee of the Domestic Violence Coordinating Council has developed the “Silent Witness” Project, which features life-sized silhouettes of people killed in domestic violence related events each with a name, age, and story. Twenty-five women (one was pregnant), two men, one child, one dog and one cat are remembered, and show in a highly visceral
way that it can and does happen here in our own community.

It is crucial for survivors (and their families, friends and allies) to understand that violence does not end when a woman leaves a battering relationship -- it often escalates. Leaving is the most dangerous time, and carefully crafted safety plans should be put into effect.

Those who are experiencing domestic violence can get help by calling: Humboldt Domestic Violence Services, 443-6042, the North Coast Rape Crisis Team, 445-2881 or WISH in southern Humboldt at 923-4100. Community members who would like to get involved in preventing domestic violence can call the Domestic Violence Coordinating Council at 601-6042.

Susan McGee is the coordinator of the Humboldt County Domestic Violence Coordinating Council.