JOLIET — Could you forgive your father if he slaughtered your family, slashed your throat and left you for dead in a garbage dump?
Carmina Salcido, author of the 2009 book “Not Lost Forever: My Story of Survival,” did and she will share her story of hope and forgiveness on Thursday at Will County’s 15th annual Take Back the Night.
Once the event’s coordinator, Katrina Crone, assistant to chief deputy state’s attorney Ken Grey, heard Salcido speak on a news program, Crone knew Salcido just had to speak at Take Back the Night.
“She had such a horrible childhood, and yet she had the opportunity to see her father in prison and forgive him,” Crone said. “It’s a story of resilience and strength, of letting people know there is life after abuse.”
Healing through sharing
Salcido feels sharing her story, including its gruesome details, has been crucial to her healing. The first step to eliminating domestic violence and moving past one’s own experiences, she believes, is talking about it.
“I look at how the neighbors treated the situation,” Salcido said. “There were always arguments and fights in the house and a lot of domestic violence against my mom, but the neighbors stayed out of it. No one wanted to get involved unless gunshots were going off.”
Unfortunately for Salcido, she experienced more abuse as a foster child. Although she has forgiven her perpetrators, she still battles post-traumatic stress disorder and has trouble trusting others.
“When I was finally ready to rejoin the world, I trusted everybody,” Salcido said. “I treated everybody the way I wanted to be treated. I had to learn to be more careful with certain people. I’m very outgoing, so it was hard to rein that back.”
Her message to victims? Let your only fear be fear itself. Know you are a wonderful person. Look for the positive in life and move toward that.
“Continue to be strong,” Salcido said. “Look at what you’ve survived.”
15th annual event
For 15 years, Will County has brought together survivors, supporters, activists and community leaders to protest violence against women. This year, the steering committee is reaching out to the community to help raise $15,000, in honor of the 15th anniversary.
That money will assist nonprofit agencies that work directly with those woman and children domestic violence affects. Last year, Will County’s Take Back the Night raised and distributed $8,000.
Although vigils like Take Back the Night have not eradicated domestic violence, it has progressed in educating the community and providing resources for assistance.
“Domestic violence often exists behind closed doors,” Crone said. “People will see a co-worker with a black eye and look away. By bring it into the light, we make people aware and empower the victims. We let them know it is OK to ask for help.”
In addition to the speaker, there will be a candlelight memorial vigil. This will honor survivors of domestic abuse and the women and children that have been murdered in Will County in the past 10 years.
The Will Grundy-Medical Center will provide a sign language interpreter.
Take Back the Night will also include a march down Larkin Avenue to Jefferson Street and then back to the school.
Coordinators are asking participants to bring canned goods and grocery store and gas station gift cards to the event. The cards will be donated to area domestic violence abuse shelters.
Information on ways to become locally involved will also be available.
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