No one was ever hit or slapped in Betsy Warren's home.
But in July, she became a victim of domestic violence after her husband, Memphis police officer Timothy Warren, was killed during a domestic confrontation at a Downtown hotel.
"I'm a victim because they killed my husband," Warren said.
People knew about the brewing situation between suspect Alexander Haydel and his wife, Bobbie Warren (no relation). The outcome would have been different had someone stepped in before it exploded.
"They had several opportunities throughout the day. Had somebody approached him and calmed him down, none of this would have happened," she said.
Warren was a speaker on Thursday at the fourth annual Erase Domestic Violence rally at The Children's Museum of Memphis in observance of Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
It was sponsored by the Erase Domestic Crime Collaborative, a consortium of public and private partners in the fight against domestic violence.
"As was true four years ago and is true today we have an epidemic of domestic violence in this community and we believe in the Collaborative that it's real important that the whole community know the extent of the problem, but also that we're working on it," said organizer Deborah Clubb, executive director of the Memphis Area Women's Council.
The Collaborative will open in spring 2012 in its Family Safety Center at 1750 Madison. It will be a place where families in trouble can go for police, prosecution, orders of protection, help with housing or whatever they need, she said.
On display during the rally were T-shirts crafted by children who have been impacted by domestic violence.
Many were cheerful and colorful, others had dark words, like survivor, mad, sad and, "When daddy hits mommy I feel parts of me black out."
Speakers on Thursday included representatives from law enforcement and victims like Miea Williams.
In 2005, Williams left her husband and sought counseling at the Exchange Club Family Center.
That path has taken her from being a victim to a master's degree in counseling and a seat on the Family Center's board of directors.
"Now I can see where I can make a change and help women in domestic violence," Williams said.
For Williams, it took an assault that left emergency room doctors surprised that she wasn't paralyzed or dead.
Her husband, an ordained minister with a drug problem, had hit her so hard he was in the emergency room as well with a broken hand.
"The day he hit me, I never turned back," Williams said. "I couldn't hide it anymore, I had to do something to save my life."
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