Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Miami, FL: Man Allegedly Kills Ex-Boyfriend Over Breakup

by Kilian Melloy
Tuesday Dec 8, 2009


Related Topics: violent crime | gay against gay violence
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A North Miami Beach man was murdered at his home Dec. 3--allegedly by his ex, who police apprehended after a short pursuit, and who was reportedly covered in the victim’s blood.

Charles Brown and Gregory Higgs, both 54, had been together for seven years when Brown broke off the relationship, reported the Miami Herald on Dec. 7. Brown, a teacher at North Miami High School, did not offer a reason for the relationship’s end, according to authorities; Higgs then sent emails about Brown to school administrators and to family members, the article said.

According to authorities, Higgs chose a violent course of action after being rebuffed by Brown. Neighbors called police to report a man lurking in Brown’s building; later, they called again when the man stabbed Brown in his own apartment. Callers relayed the attacker’s position to police as he fled, and Higgs was apprehended a short time later.

The article said that the two had been friends in college, and had been involved romantically over the last seven years.

The phenomenon of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is driven by similar motives, regardless of whether the couple involved is mixed-gender or same-sex, according to Sharon Staple, the executive director of the Gay & Lesbian Anti Violence Project. According to Staple, "the desire of one partner to control the other" is one major factor in all such dysfunctional relationships.

For same-sex couples who may already face shaming and hostility from sources outside the relationship, additional weapons are available for an abusive significant other. Staple noted that, "the tools that a batterer might use in a same sex relationship [include] threatening to out someone; things that are distinct to sexual orientation or gender identity that can be used to control.

"In LGBT relationships, it can be more about invoking some sort of shame as a way to make one feel small or powerless or helpless," Staple went on. "If you are in the closet or are young and don’t have a lot of resources or people you can talk to about your sexual orientation, that becomes a tool the batterer can use."

In many such relationships involving partners of whatever sexuality, "Threats are often used to control behavior or denigrate a person’s identity," Staple told EDGE. "That makes it a particularly insidious form of violence" that the abuser can use to "control... who you can see, talk to, what you can wear; even what kind of medications you can take." That last point is especially pronounced in gay relationships where at least one partner is HIV-positive; Staple told EDGE that, "One way the [abusive] partner can control them is to withhold medication or refuse to allow their partner to go to the doctor--or interfere with their health care generally. We see that frequently in a relationship where the victim is HIV positive."

Staple noted that the end of a relationship is especially fraught with the danger of abusive behavior, with one partner seeking to prevent the other from leaving through threats or violence. "In fact, statistics about intimate partner violence consistently show that leaving is one of the most dangerous time in relationship; the time when violence is most likely to occur."

Physical and psychological domination on the part of partner may well depend on the mental and emotional state of the other; Avy Skolnik, the coordinator of Statewide and National Programs for the Gay & Lesbian Anti Violence Project, told EDGE that, "our anecdotal sense is if somebody is equal in weight and size to the [abusive] partner, they may be able to defend themselves equally. But often, they feel like they can’t or shouldn’t physically respond to being assaulted." Skolnik also noted that although substance abuse did not cause abusive behavior, it could worsen instances of IPV.


Kilian Melloy reviews media, conducts interviews, and writes commentary for EDGEBoston, where he also serves as Assistant Arts Editor.

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