Summers were always the worst, Amie Roberg recalled.
Maybe it was the heat, she guessed, that made her father more irritable.
"My dad would just be super mean," said Roberg, who was a teenager, the oldest of four kids. Their father was an abusive alcoholic, both physically and mentally, and they were scared for their lives most days.
But one day during "the hottest summer ever," they left the house and their father behind.
"And we ran. We had to run for our lives," Roberg said.
They ran to Domestic Violence Intervention Services' (DVIS) emergency shelter.
"I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for DVIS," Roberg said. "I really do feel like they saved my life and my family's lives."
Roberg's is just one happy ending among many throughout the shelter's 25 years, an anniversary DVIS will celebrate with a birthday party Nov. 1 for its shelter and transitional clients. The event will be complete with free hair cuts, styles and manicures from Agape Hair & Nails in Broken Arrow.
Before the party, though, DVIS needs the community's help in collecting birthday gifts for its clients, and they are accepting items based on a wish list 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m. Monday through Friday - items from new sheets and towels to underwear, socks and sleeping bags.
And toothbrushes. Roberg and her family left theirs behind - and everything else - when they fled the house that summer day years ago.
A United Way partner agency, DVIS is the only nonprofit agency in Tulsa and surrounding communities to provide comprehensive intervention and prevention services to men, women and children affected by domestic violence. Its mission is to rebuild lives affected by domestic violence and sexual assault through advocacy, shelter, counseling and education.
DVIS' first shelter for battered women opened in May 1981 and housed up to 25 women and children. But by the mid-'80s, it wasn't sufficient to meet the demand for emergency shelter services.
A successful capital campaign was launched in 1985 to build a new shelter. At its opening in 1986, the DVIS emergency shelter was one of the largest in the country and one of the few built specifically for domestic violence victims.
In 2010, 407 clients and 207 children stayed at the 50-bed shelter for an average stay of 24 days. The day we spoke to Kerry Hornibrook, development director for DVIS, they had 57 in need of beds.
"If we weren't here, where would these women and children go?" Hornibrook said.
Roberg remembers that first night at the shelter, being led to a waiting room with a little table and chairs.
"When they shut that door behind us, I felt safe for one of the first times in my life," she said. "I felt rescued. DVIS did that for us."
For a long time, though, Roberg was embarrassed to talk about it, she said. She grew up, earned her bachelor's and master's degrees from the University of Tulsa, married a great guy, had kids and started a company with her husband - CastleCom, which services area businesses with phone systems, as well as security access control and closed-caption TV.
"We're kind of a nerdy high-tech firm," she joked.
She became involved in the community, from Light Opera Oklahoma to Tulsa Young Professionals. Eventually, she started volunteering for DVIS, sharing her success story at fundraisers.
"All of a sudden, I could share my story. I could talk about it," she said. "I wasn't embarrassed anymore."
DVIS trains its clients how to overcome their fears and how to remove themselves from abusive situations, Roberg said. When she recognizes certain behaviors or issues going on in someone's life, she isn't scared to ask if they need help. She simply provides them with information about DVIS.
"We need to educate people that there is a source out there," Roberg said.
And it could be anyone you know, she reminded - even the person who seems to live a happy life in the $500,000 home up the street.
"They might be embarrassed due to their status, but they should certainly not be," she said. "We're human. It goes across all races and classes."
As long as people know that an abusive relationship isn't a "dead-end," she said. "You can get yourself out of the muck and move on.
"Learn from the experience," Roberg continued. "Pull from the strength you've had to conjure up in that situation, and roll it into positive things."
For more about DVIS, including how you can help, call its office, 918-585-3163.
To celebrate its emergency shelter's 25th birthday, Domestic Violence Intervention Services Inc. (DVIS/Call Rape) is encouraging supporters to give a birthday gift off a shelter wish list.
Unwrapped birthday gifts for the shelter, and women and children clients, can be brought to DVIS' administrative offices at 4300 S. Harvard Ave. through Friday, from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. each day.
The items will be given during a private birthday party for shelter and transitional living clients Nov. 1, during which time Agape Hair & Nails of Broken Arrow will provide free hair cuts, styles and manicures to clients.
Items on the wish list include:
New sheets (twin-size), pillows, plastic mattress covers, blankets.
New towels and wash cloths.
New children's toys and books for all ages. No electronics, please.
Generic gifts for women (gift cards, beauty and hair supplies, perfumes, makeup, lotions, gels and sprays, nail polish, tote bags, gloves, journals).
New underwear and socks for women and their children (all sizes).
Vacuum cleaners - hand held and upright.
New sleeping bags and egg crate mattresses (twin-size).
Over-the-counter medication for adults and children.
Hand sanitizer.
Alarm clocks.
Umbrellas.
Laundry detergent.
Baby items (diapers, wipes, bottles, formula, etc.)
Toiletry items (deodorant, toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, etc.)
New sippy cups.
XL-XXL T-shirts.
Art supplies for the therapeutic children's program (markers, crayons, drawing paper, craft items, etc.)
For more, call DVIS at 918-585-3163, or visit tulsaworld.com/dvis
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