Victims of domestic violence and their supporters will form a processional to the state Capitol on Saturday to raise awareness of the problem and honor slain sisters.
By Rubén Rosario
Updated: 06/05/2010 08:40:17 PM CDT
Booze, beatings, loud screams, a knife to her beloved mother's throat.
Her aunt, sporting shiners, kicked downstairs or dragged by her hair out to the street.
This is what Marie Garza remembers from when she was 5 and a regular witness to domestic violence while growing up on St. Paul's West Side.
"I don't remember what my favorite color was in childhood or who my best friend was," the 31-year-old single mother of two and aspiring police officer recalled last week.
"What I remember mostly was that my biological father, who abused my mother, wore a cowboy hat, rode a motorcycle and put cheese and glue on a piece of Styrofoam to catch the mice in the house."
Throughout the years, Garza always wanted to do something to honor her much-victimized mother, Elizabeth, who remarried but died from cervical cancer when Garza was 12, as well as other survivors and victims of domestic violence.
She found what she wanted to do as she watched the same "American Justice" cable TV documentary I did about the 1999 slaying of Gladys Ricart.
Ricart was ambushed in the living room of her Ridgefield, N.J., home and gunned down by an abusive ex-boyfriend just hours before she was to wed another man. Ricart died in her wedding dress.
'BRIDES' MARCH SATURDAY
The slaying led to a "brides march" that takes place annually in New York City's Washington Heights neighborhood, where Ricart grew up.
On Saturday, Garza and a still-growing list of participants —
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including more than 40 female survivors or supporters wearing wedding gowns — will march from Our Lady of Guadalupe Church to the state Capitol as part of the first-ever "Twin Cities Brides March."
A good number of the more than 100 registered march participants are Twin Cities-area cops. They include outgoing and incoming St. Paul police chiefs John Harrington and Thomas Smith, who grew up in the same neighborhood as Garza.
One cop canceled his vacation to take part in the event. Others plan to wear tuxedos. A few female cops will, like Garza, wear wedding dresses of their own or one that was borrowed, donated or purchased.
One of them is Bonita Wettlin, 29, a former corrections officer and three-year Minneapolis police veteran.
"I've gone through it and seen a lot of it on the job on a daily basis," said Wettlin, whose dress was donated by a domestic violence survivor after she saw Wettlin's ad on Craigslist seeking a dress.
The event also includes speeches by Harrington and others at the state Capitol. Those will be followed by what Garza describes as a "wedding" reception at Joseph's Grill, a popular West Side eatery.
A COP'S DEATH IMPELLED HER
It was not that long ago that Garza doubted she could pull this off. A trained nurse, Garza decided a few years ago to pursue her passion — a career in law enforcement. She grew up in an environment that she acknowledges was strongly anti-cop.
But that perception changed after she befriended some men and women in blue. She realized that cops make an enormous difference and also pay a high price helping or defending domestic violence victims, regardless of color, background or status.
She saw that firsthand last fall while serving as a volunteer reserve officer for the Maplewood Police Department.
North St. Paul police officer Richard Crittenden, whom she knew, was killed with his own gun Sept. 7 while responding to a domestic-violence call. The veteran officer pushed to safety a mother and daughter as a deranged man threw a burning rag at his face. Maplewood police officer Julie Olson fatally shot the assailant after he shot at her but struck a piece of her belt instead.
"Officer Crittenden gave up his life so that mother and daughter wouldn't die," said Garza, who is taking criminal justice courses at Century College. "Officer Olson, she almost gave up her life for this."
Her deceased mother's plight, her own emotional abuse during a turbulent 12-year relationship and the Ricart slaying were more than ample motivation to do something. But the Crittenden case cemented the conviction.
Though she had no clue how to organize such a large event on her own, Garza listened intently to the advice of Joan Hiller, a college professor with experience in building nonprofit initiatives. She recruited a Web designer who volunteered his time.
She called friends, spread the word throughout the law enforcement community and gently put the arm on as many thrift and bridal shops as she could find. Weddings by Tess in Apple Valley donated a gown for Garza to wear.
Joseph's Grill, a cop hangout, donated food and will shut down for the post-march "reception."
Garza enlisted the sponsorship of the local Latino Police Officers Association chapter. She also spoke at a recent victims' rights conference attended by members of the Minnesota HOPE chapter of the national Parents of Murdered Children organization.
'BASICALLY, HELL'
Several folks approached Garza. One — the mother of a young woman who was gunned down nearly four years ago by an abusive live-in male companion — was unforgettable.
"Thank you for doing this,'" said the woman, who pledged to don her wedding dress and take part in tribute to her slain daughter.
"I will never give her away at her wedding," the woman told Garza. "My husband will never walk her down the aisle. But I'm going to wear it for her."
"Nearly 30 percent of our group members nationally and locally are grandparents raising the kids of daughters killed by a spouse, boyfriend or other significant other," said Chris Dahl, who heads the state's Parents of Murdered Children chapter. "We really support what she is doing," he said of Garza.
Wettlin's wedding gown contributor had her own compelling reasons.
"My mom remarried a guy when I was 2," the unidentified woman said in an e-mail. "From the ages of 2 (to) 15, he beat up me and my mom on a pretty regular basis," the woman wrote. "There was a lot of incest, a lot of emotional and physical abuse. Basically, hell.
"I've held onto this wedding dress in my closet since 2005 when I got divorced," the woman added. "I need to let go of it, as it symbolizes what I did for survival. ... There is no more perfect way for me to handle this dress than to contribute it. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to pass this on to such a perfect cause."
Garza, who plans to use the event's registration fees to create a startup to help battered Latinos and immigrants as well as help them learn about police work and outreach, has never worn a wedding dress.
She will on Saturday. But not for her own aspiration or Prince Charming-type dream. Not right now. She will wear it in memory of Ricart, the late Elizabeth Garza and all victims of domestic violence — past, present and future.
"I just want to make her proud and let her know I'm OK," Garza said of her mother.
Rubén Rosario can be reached at 651-228-5454 or rrosario@ pioneerpress.com.
MORE INFORMATION
For more information or to take part in or contribute to the first Twin Cities Brides March, go to active.com and search "Twin Cities Brides March Against Domestic Violence," or send e-mail to twincitiesbridesmarch@ yahoo.com.
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