OXFORD — There were signs of problems.
Daryl Benway told a neighbor that his wife had left and he had lost his job, but there were no apparent indications that Mr. Benway would commit a desperate act leading to the death of a daughter and himself and a son fighting for his life.
A few days ago, Mr. Benway spoke to his neighbor, Art Seale, about some of the issues going on in his life. Mr. Benway said his wife, Kelleen, had moved out. Authorities said that occurred three to four weeks ago.
“This was kind of unexpected,” Mr. Seale, 72, said at his home yesterday. “I knew they were having marital problems. I talked to Daryl earlier (last week) and he was telling me she got an apartment in Worcester and they had split up. He was hoping it was only temporary.”
Neighbors didn’t hear the couple argue. They did hear Mrs. Benway’s car leave the 128 Main St. home in a hurry Saturday afternoon.
Earlier in the day, Mrs. Benway had posted on her Facebook page: “It’s about time I took control of my own life.” That was at 11:45 a.m.
There were no records of police being called to the home previously; no restraining orders are on file, and Mr. Benway did not have a police record.
Oxford police received a 911 call about 5 p.m. Saturday. When they arrived at the home, authorities found Owen Benway, 9, wounded on the kitchen floor, and his sister, Abigail, 7, dead in the master bedroom. Mr. Benway, 41, was dead in the master bedroom.
Police believe Mr. Benway shot his two children and then himself. Owen is in the pediatric intensive care unit at UMass Memorial Medical Center — University Campus in Worcester. Authorities said the boy was shot in the head.
The home is owned by Mr. Benway and his brother Shawn, according to public records. The Benway family lived on the second floor of the two-story white home. Neighbors said Shawn Benway resides on the first floor with his wife and the brothers’ mother.
He was the one who called 911, possibly after hearing shots, authorities said. Neighbors said they didn’t hear gunshots.
Oxford Selectman Henry J. LaMountain said he knew his distant cousin, Daryl Benway, well.
“Speaking not as a selectman but as Daryl’s friend, I’d say he was a loving family man. He loved being a father. He loved his wife and children. He was not a monster, but a regular Joe who snapped for some reason we will never know. It’s so sad.”
Mr. LaMountain said Mr. Benway had always been family-oriented, and was crushed when his twin brother drowned in the French River when they were about 8 years old.
“When Daryl’s father died, he took care of his mother, who lived with him, along with his wife and kids and his brother and his wife. There were three generations in that house. Daryl loved and took care of his entire family. He was a great guy, then this happened. I don’t know why. We’ll never know what he was thinking. It was a snap. Some pain was overwhelming, and he ended it.”
Three candles were in front of a tree at the home yesterday morning. There was a sign on the door — “Please respect our privacy. No interviews will be given,” it read.
Family and friends posted messages of condolences on the Facebook pages of Mr. Benway and his wife. Many asked why the children had to be shot.
People posted messages saying they didn’t know he was in such a “bad place” that this could happen. They talked about Mr. Benway acting like himself in recent conversations they had had with him.
When Mr. Seale hadn’t noticed Mrs. Benway around, he talked to Mr. Benway about it.
“He opened up to me,” Mr. Seale said. “I never thought it would come to this. He’d have to have snapped. He was really kind of remorseful; he really loved her.”
Mr. Benway would plow Mr. Seale’s driveway and never took money for it. He said the children would play in the yard and in the pool. The parents were always watching the children.
“They really pampered the kids,” Mr. Seale said.
Mr. Benway told Mr. Seale in his recent conversation that he had a job at a bank in Providence but lost it a couple of months ago. Mr. Benway had also worked at TJX Companies. He attended Oxford High School.
Alan Gaumond, a cousin of Mr. Benway who lives in Connecticut, said he spoke to Mr. Benway a few weeks ago. His cousin sounded fine and was dealing with the marital separation.
“As far I was concerned, he boasted about his family; he was proud of his family,” Mr. Gaumond said. “It is a surprise to everyone. It had to be sheer desperation.”
Mr. Benway’s late father, Kenneth R. Benway, operated Benway Greenhouse in Oxford for more than 35 years. Mrs. Benway apparently was working in Worcester, Mr. Seale said. She arrived at the home after the incident and eventually was taken to the hospital to be with her son. Mr. Benway’s stepdaughter, Nickole, 25, also went there.
A neighbor, Amanda Jolie, said yesterday she had just gotten home from her daughter’s birthday party Saturday when she noticed the police cruisers across the street. She eventually learned what had happened.
“We never suspected anything,” Ms. Jolie said. “We saw them outside every once in a great while. The father was always working on his car. It was like a normal father outside with his children.”
Brenda A. Ennis, a member of the School Committee, said she knew Daryl Benway. “I didn’t know him well, but he was easy-going, funny and loved his kids. He was just a regular guy. This is unbelievable. How could he do this? How do parents tell their children about this?”
She said her daughter, Molly, 14, was praying for the Benway family. “I hope children, parents — any community member — will take advantage of the counseling we will have available at the Chaffee School that both children attended. The whole community is welcome to come together to talk.”
She said School Superintendent Allen W. Himmelberger asked elementary school principals Norman P. Yvon, principal of the Alfred M. Chaffee Elementary School, and Stephen Baroni, principal of the Clara Barton Elementary School, as well other staff members to join a grief counseling team at the Chaffee School, 9 Clover St., from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. Monday and Tuesday.
“Oxford is a strong community. We will get through this tragedy. The Benway family is in our prayers,” he said.
Organizers are planning a vigil for the victims tonight at 7:30 p.m. at the Oxford Bandstand on the Town Common.