Tammy Lydia Ramirez felt warily safe after her mother picked her up, rescuing her from an
allegedly abusive relationship that had dragged on for six months.
But someone called 25-year-old Ramirez's cellphone on the way to her
mother's house, and she hung up abruptly after a short conversation.
Then, her mother said, her mood changed.
“When I looked at my daughter, she looked scared,” said Lydia Delazerda. “I asked her, ‘Mija, he's not coming to the house, right?'”
“He would never do that,” Ramirez said, her mother recalled.
Moments later, Jonathan Robert Garcia,
21, arrived at Delazerda's West Side home. Following a brief argument,
according to San Antonio police, Garcia shot his girlfriend in the chest
and shoulder.
He fled the scene before Delazerda, who'd heard the couple arguing
and was calling 911 when shots were fired, could reach her daughter's
side. Ramirez's three daughters, who live with their grandmother, and
Delazerda watched as Ramirez died.
“I put my hand on her and felt her bleeding. The girls were crying,” she said. “And then, my baby was gone.”
Around 9:15 p.m., Garcia turned himself in at his ex-girlfriend's
apartment in the 5700 block of North Knoll. He remains in the Bexar
County Jail on one count of murder; a judge set bail at $250,000.
The killing is the latest in a string of domestic violence incidents
locally and nationally, most notably the apparent murder-suicide by Kansas City Chiefs player Jovan Belcher. His girlfriend, Kasandra Perkins, was from Austin.
On average, three women in the U.S. die daily as a result of domestic violence, said Katie Ray-Jones,
president of the Austin-based National Domestic Violence Hotline. She
said the recent cases aren't indicative of a spike during the holidays.
“A few high-profile cases are drawing attention to domestic violence, which is tragic, but it can also be helpful,” she said.
Delazerda doubts her daughter was one of the 21,000 calls the hotline
receives each month, especially since Ramirez denied any abuse to her
mother. When asked about bruises, Ramirez would say she fell or was
clumsy, Delazerda said.
Two months ago, Delazerda called Child Protective Services
to report the suspected abuse, and the children — who were healthy,
clothed and fed, she said — were placed in her care, she said. A CPS
spokeswoman said she couldn't comment, as the agency did not remove
Kayla, 7; Krista, 6, and Kimberly, 2.
What she believes is confirmation of the abuse came late Monday, when
relatives found Ramirez's diary inside her white leather purse. Among
other entries detailing abuse was one that said, “He pointed the gun at
me AGAIN today. I'm scared.”
Delazerda said she gave the diary to police.
Garcia's mother said her son had a bad temper but the couple always
seemed happy. Her son and Ramirez spent most of Tuesday at her home,
near Fortuna, where Delazerda picked up Ramirez.
“They were always kissing,” said Rosemary Garcia. “Like everybody
else, they would argue, but I never saw any domestic violence.”
She said she learned about the killing shortly after police came to
her home to see if she'd seen her son, and that's when she realized one
of her bicycles was missing.
“I just can't believe that she's gone,” Rosemary Garcia said. “I
can't believe that it's because of my son. I just keep thinking of those
three wonderful, beautiful little girls, and how they have no mother.”
The end of an abusive relationship is notoriously dangerous, and the
potential for homicidal violence increases dramatically, said Patricia Castillo, executive director and cofounder of the PEACE Initiative.
“You can't just walk out. You need to have a safety plan,” she said.
“You are taking the only sense of power that these people have or feel
like they have. When you deny them that power, that is the ultimate
insult.”
Ray-Jones said that while going to a relative or friend's house may feel safe, it could be deadly.
“Where could you go that he won't know where to find you?” she asked.
“Sometimes your parents' house is not the safest place to go.”
Delazerda said she repeatedly urged her daughter to break up with
Garcia and was ecstatic when Ramirez called Monday. She advised others
who suspect an abusive relationship to be persistent. For help, please
call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-SAFE.
“A mother knows,” she said. “A mother feels when their daughter is in
trouble. You just have to keep talking to them, and they'll come
around, hopefully before it's too late.”
A compilation of daily news articles from around the United States about deaths (including both people and animals) that appear to occur in the context of a past or present intimate relationship, focusing on 2009-present. (NOTE: this blog is limited to incidents that appear in the media and are captured by our search terms. We recognize this is not an exhaustive portrayal of all deaths resulting from intimate violence.) When is society going to realize intimate violence makes victims of us all?
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