Article: Task of reducing domestic violence

Just a week ago, a Wilmington woman who was beaten and left brain-dead by her ex-boyfriend died of her injuries.

How horrible. And how typical.

Last year, Delaware had more than 28,000 reported domestic violence incidents, and 45 percent were between intimate partners.

State domestic violence and rape crisis hot lines had at least 3,600 calls for help. More than 3,200 petitions for Protection From Abuse orders were processed by Family Court.

"Domestic violence destroys lives. It tears apart families and can leave its survivors with scars -- both physical and emotional -- that can take years to heal," Gov. Jack Markell said in declaring October Domestic Violence Awareness Month. "And yet millions of cases of domestic violence happen in our country each year. In the most severe cases, domestic violence becomes murder."

Increasingly, those efforts attempt to engage the perpetrators -- men who believe that such abusive behavior is a privilege of their masculinity.

In Chicago, a mostly Mexican parish sometimes allows the abusers to join the program. What's been striking about this approach is the level of professional services and joint couple's counseling that helps abusers deal with latent emotional and psychological issues.

In Delaware, men are invited to Saturday's annual "Girlfriends! Annual Domestic Violence Awareness Breakfast," at the Center on the Riverfront, hosted by the Seeds of Greatness congregation in New Castle. The church's website says "Letters constantly pour in testifying to the eye-opening education and life-changing encouragement both men and women have experienced."

In safe physical and psychological environments for victims, it makes sense to incorporate this kind of behavioral outreach to those men, who acknowledge that violence against women is a weakness of their manhood.

To be sure, these are maiden efforts in a 30-year-old movement. But they are critical to reversing the damage to children, who are being emotionally hard-wired to believe abuse is normative for marriages, and other romantic alliances, every time they witness these crimes.