March 28, 6:05 PMRaleigh Headlines ExaminerLoretta Arnold
What are the red flag warning signs of a dangerous relationship? Who should you contact if you are experiencing an abusive relationship? What can you learn from the past?
We turn to Catawba County.
Ryan Ansley Rendlemen, 39, was arrested last weekend on traffic violations and fleeing from cops. He posted the $3,000 bail on Sunday. Rendlemen failed to mention he killed his girlfriend to the authorities before his release.
Christy Dawn Whitmore, 32, was murdered in her Sweetwater Park mobile home. Whitmore had been stabbed and suffocated.
When the police arrested and released Rendlemen, Whitmore was already dead. Whitmore was found by a family member last Monday by which the date of death was confirmed as Saturday.
Rendlemen has turned himself over to police after Whitmore's body was found.
Whitmore called the police when Rendlemen tried to take her car back in November. Signs such as a vehicle threat does not seem to be red flag, but a potential sign of Rendlemen's control issues.
Rendlemen also has a rap sheet of assault and felony drug charges.
Not all past felons with control issues go around killing girlfriends. But in Rendlemen's case he proved to be a liar when not coming forth with this information before posting the $3,000 bail on Sunday.
Randy Inman, experienced writer for various publications, shares gripping details surrounding Whitmore. Whitmore's son is friends with Inman's daughter. His parents had conducted business in a home purchase of Whitmore a couple of years ago.
Inman shares of Whitmore's assistance as a nurse. A woman that "did not deserve to be murdered by a crime of passion." And many can agree.
Visit Killed in a Crime of Passion for more.
North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence, NCCADV, is stepping up their game in assisting victims of domestic violence situations. North Carolina is one of 14 states funded by the CDC in connection to creating a state plan to prevent Intimate Partner Violence (IPV). Visit the 10 year plan in pdf form here.
But what are the red flag signs when a person should discontinue a relationship?
If you have children that have experienced or witnessed physical or emotional abuse from the one within your relationship.
If you are with someone who tries to keep you away from the ones you love or friends that offer positive direction.
If you are with someone that controls you more than their own temper.
If you are with someone that enjoys watching you cry.
If you are with someone that thinks of you as a property rather than a living human.
If you are with someone that is so jealous that it creates anger within them without reason.
If you are with someone that will lie to cover their end on multiple occasions.
If the person you are with blames you or your children for their doing on multiple occasions.
If you tend to have personality changes in fear of as a result of the relationship you are in.
If your children begin to imitate by way of violent behavior or way of fear by anxiety.
If you are with someone that has physically beat you.
If you are with someone that has mentally cornered you into feeling less of yourself just so they can feel better about themselves.
All of these listed flags should tell you something. They do not always lead to a deadly relationship. However, manifesting from a troubled relationship to a potentially deadly one can depend upon what sparks the fire. A fire that does not come from you, but from within them. Leave before you get burned.
As for Christy Dawn Whitmore it's too late, or is it? Through one tragedy can come awareness before it's too late.
Contact North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence for assistance.
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